I have this thing where I have a hard time getting to sleep before 3 am, and I spend a lot of that time on the internet doing my writing stuff and reading. Every once in a while, I go prowling around Facebook or old LJs and see how people are doing.

I was just looking at the Facebook of an ex-boyfriend who I am still close with -- he's married with kids now -- and I looked at a picture of him smiling an incredibly huge, genuine smile, and it was like being thrust into a time portal. So odd, it's hard to describe. Made me really miss him but even more so, miss old times.

I've noticed I think about the past a lot and wonder if this is the beginning of that evolution towards the stage of old age where people constantly talk  about their memories, because they've become lost in them. From what I can tell from how I think of them now, they're incredibly beguiling -- you get lost in them so easily. But I've always been a person who loves to embrace the present, and I worry that by getting my head so stuck in the past, I'm not seeing life as its happening around me. Maybe that's just how it is.